whoa
i've been away so long
i haven't been near any wifi lately and i absolutely hate our stupid dial up at home
i don't even get tuesday morning at panerra now because neighbor bill is coming with me to bible study
at least he did last week and he is again tomorrow
i worked tuesday and wednesday evenings last week
thanksgiving was great
we got to go to chloe and jeff's after all
had i told you that we weren't going to be able do thursday with them because they were going to jeff's parent's in indiana
we were going to go to chloe and jeff's friday and have a thanksgiving meal
but jeff's mom had exceedingly high blood pressure and was told that if her new medication or new dosage or new whatever didn't lower it she would have to go into the hospital
so
we had thanksgiving dinner with chloe and jeff and the boys on thursday
and
jeremy was there too
he was visiting for a week over thanksgiving
it was great to spend some time with him again
faith and i took him and jordan to see planet 51 on friday
oh
i'm at the somonauk library now
that's why i'm able to blog
faith came with me to cr on friday night
i got a chip for finishing the step study
it only took us since january
this friday i get to sing a solo at cr
julie heard me singing a song i wrote and she asked me if i'd be willing to and after 2 or 3 weeks i said i would
so
this friday
i of course see myself forgetting the words or the tune or both
it's going to be nice getting to spend tonight with faith
no more monday night step group
well
that's it for now
i need to be heading home in a few minutes and i've got something to check out first
the sould recording of the girl who played with fire
i know
i just finished reading it a week or so ago
but
i loved it
i can't wait until one of the libraries gets in the girl who kicked the hornet's nest
oh well
God bless

signing off
bye for now

so
today i weighed two pounds less than yesterday
and
tomorrow i will weigh two pounds more than today
actually
my weight fluctuates by as much as 4 pounds from day to day
it's just that it doesn't always fluctuate downward
sigh
here i am back at the desktop
just like yesterday
i really really wish that someone nearby had unprotected wifi
i would love it
faith is off at her last morning of this beth moore bible study
then she's going to get her hair trimmed
yesterday before i went to work we went shopping at target for jordan's birthday present and also bought 2 soccer balls 1 for a girl and 1 for a boy to take to church for some family in plano
afterwards we went to panera for soup and bread
very nice
it is so nice to be writing about normal everyday things now instead of frantic sneaky crazy things
my life is so much calmer post entering recovery
this morning faith was talking about how bitter she used to feel about all my lies
and how much she loves our relationship today
she deserves blessings
so do i
God bless

signing off
bye for now

well
it only took me 15 minutes to get here
yes
i'm on our slow as molasses desktop with the dial up connection
plus
i'm having trouble typing because skippy is on my lap and is stretched out over my right forearm
jack s just left
he came over for coffee (1st time here usually i go over to his place) at 8a and we visited until 9:30
it's nice having a recovery buddy right here in town where we can get together
work was slow last night and i'm guessing that it will be again tonight
at least tonight will be the last night of calling for the new moon blood drive
i'll be glad when thursday night is finished and i will have 5 work-free days to look forward to
faith worked all day yesterday so we didn't get to spend much time together
i made an early dinner - baked potatoes with brocoli cuts and cheese sauce
very filling
she should be home by 12:30 today so we'll have the afternoon together
well
i don't have much else today
so
God bless

signing off
bye for now

it's panera tuesday
we didn't do a lesson today
chris and greg just talked about deer hunting
kenny is hunting down by springfield and jay didn't show up
i emailed annie a copy of my testimony today
i would love to get some comments from her
susan emailed me a link to her photos of south africa on flickr
very nice
yesterday was my penultimate chess lesson at woodbury
i wonder if any kids will sign up at a later date
i work tuesday wednesday and thursday this week
but
i have saturday off
we had our last step study lesson last night
we're meeting at chili's next monday to celebrate
then on chip night we'll each get a chip showing that we've completed the 12 steps
then we can sponsor if anyone asks us to
it'll be nice to be able to spend monday nights with faith again
i'm sure that there's probably a lot more i could be talking about here
but
i can't think of it right now
so
God bless

signing off
bye for now

so
this morning i am at chloe's with skippy
he's already been out back so there'd better not be any messes in the house
we just got here from on a wing and a prayer
i picked up the life recovery workbook
i had to charge it
i hope faith won't be (too) upset
i tried going on to amazon this morning
i put the girl who kicked the hornet's nest into my shoping cart
i went to check out and it looked as though it was going to bill our charge card rather than applying it toward our gift certificate balance so i got out of there
i desperately need another lisbeth salander fix
the library doesn't have it in yet
i guess i'll just have to wait
boo hiss
i haven't made any phone calls yet
when we go home (which will be soon) i'll call people
cr is tonight
yay
faith is going up to the church tonight to do some stamping and maybe some knitting
i hope the driving won't bother her eyes
she hates to drive at night
well
my basket is empty now so i guess i'll end this
God bless

signing off
bye for now

damn
i forgot to signout of yahoo
i'm at the somonauk library and unless you signout of yahoo the next person who uses the computer you're on if they go to yahoo is automatically in your mailbox
not good
oh well
i'll just go back to yahoo when i'm through here
hello
the reason i'm here is because faith has a bookclub here tonight
plus
she had an eye appointment this afternoon and had her eyes dilated (?)
she has difficulty driving at night anyway
so i'm here
i picked up 2 books that had come in for me
love is a dog from hell
and
portions from a wine-stained notebook
both by charles bukowski
also a christian 12 step workbook came in for me at on a wing and a prayer but i haven't had time to go get it yet
i'll pick it up tomorrow
after faith's eye appointment in dekalb this afternoon we went to panera and each had a cookie and a small cup of coffee by the fireplace
we read the paper
i read an article about a local marching band and an article about adam lambert and his first album
oh yeah
and a piece about a couple of young actors from new moon the new twilight-based movie
we're doing a special event blood drive at heartland for new moon
each donor will get a special edition t shirt and their name will go into a drawing for movie tickets posters life-size character cutouts jewelry and other new moon-related gifts
we're hoping to draw 100 donors
the blood drive is on the 19th and i think the movie comes out on the 20th
anyway
whatever
i think thats it for now
oh
ray called me today
i hadn't heard from him in like 2 weeks or something
it was nice to hear from him
that's it
God bless

signing off
bye for now

if this is tuesday morning then this must be panera
there were 4 of us again this morning
everyone but kenny
we didn't bother opening the books
we didn't even take prayer requests
a total blow off morning
this week i work tuesday and wednesday nights
so i have thursday off
last night we had our penultimate step study meeting
it'll be nice to have 2 nights during the week with faith after it's over
i guess the first week after it's over we (jack, jeff and i) will probably go out to eat by way of celebration
maybe
yesterday was busy
chess at woodbury with little nathan and conner from 2:45 to 3:45 then annie from 5 to 6 then step study from 7 to 8
annie and i had a nice session
i told her about my plan to wean myself off of meds and she seemed okay with that
i call dr ripejcki on the 14th to take the next step
i hope it goes as well as the first step did
well
i think you're up to date now
oh
i gave chloe and jeff the couples fireproof package last night
i don't know if they'll use it or not
chloe seemed less than excited
'oh
workbooks
how nice'
very sarcastic
well
God bless

signing off
bye for now

so
here we are at the somonauk library again
we came so i could pick up a book they were holding for me
the girl who played with fire by stieg larsson
i hope i like it as much as i liked the girl with the dragon tattoo
so
while we're here i make use of one of their 20 computers so i can check email get caught up on blogs that i follow and blog myself
whicch is what i am doing now
the cr meeting last night was smaller than usual
5 of our regular women (not that the rest are in any way irregular) were missing because of retreats and conferences
as a result a lot of the other women decided to stay home
tim was there
he said he'd call me monday morning to get directions so he can come over
we'll see
then today i had to be at work by 8a because we had a breakfast staff meeting
work was pretty much uneventful
i talked to five donors (after 71 calls) and got 1 appointment
oh
well
that's pretty much it except for coming home and having soup and a melted cheese sandwich for lunch
oh
and for letting skippy hang out on my lap for a while
oh
and susan is home from africa
i talked to her yesterday
she had a wonderful time
i told her she should write about her trip
she's a good writer and as sally says she can give people the nitty gritty things to do in what ever country she's visiting
ok
now i'm done
God bless

signing off
bye for now

here i am at chloe's blogging on jordan's laptop
chloe needs me to take jordan to school this morning
she's afraid that drew would get him there too early and he would be playing outside till time to go in
I'm to get him there right at 8 or a little after so he'll go straight inside
i have to pick him up after school too
today is early dismissal so i need to get him at 11
well
i didn't go to work last night
i hadn't taken my effexor for 2 days in a row and i was experiencing an anxiety attack i think
i got to bed real early yesterday too
7:30
i got up this morning and took all of my meds before coming over here
i need to just get in the habit of taking my morning meds as soon as i get up
i never forget my evening meds
i know from experience what happens if i don't take my risperidone
i wake up at 2a tense as all get out and i have trouble going back to sleep
meds are my life
unfortunately
i'm going to be trying to phase them out (with my psychatrist's permission
well
i'd better go now
God bless

signing off
bye for now

tuesday morning at panera
4 of us met today
chris kenny greg and i
now there's just i
just i
that sounds so awkward
i guess i'll change that to now there's just me
there were just two students for chess class yesterday
they only got 1 game in
conner didn't seem to believe me when i told him that all he could do with just a queen was check he couldn't checkmate
i told him he needed to bring his king into play but he just kept checking
and nathan had been so busy adding up the points of the pieces he'd taken that he lost all of his pieces
oh well
they're very young
last night was so discouraging
ray discovered that neither of the things the dealership told me were wrong with the saturn was actually wrong with it
the right rear brake cylinder wasn't leaking and the right front ball joint wasn't loose
i hate finding out things like that
i'm so trusting
he also told me that i hadn't really needed to have the brake fluid and the power steering fluid replaced
he said he's never done that for any of his cars
ah well
live and learn
i don't think i'll go back to the dealer any more
saturn is out of business anyway
well
i think i'll head home and relax in the recliner with skippy
God bless

signing off
bye for now

now we're at the somonauk library and i'm blogging
i just put stieg larsson's book the girl who played with fire on hold
i finished his 1st book the girl with the dragon tattoo this morning and i couldn't wait to get another book by him
sadly i think this will be the last one (unless maybe i hope i hope there is one more) he died in 2004 and both of these books were published in english in 2009
ah well
tim may be asking me to be his sponsor
i don't know why he put it that way
i may be missing step study tonight
i might be going over to ray's house so he can check out my brake cylinders
according to saturn they need replacing and their estimate is $450
hoo boy
faithie always wonders what i blog about
i always assure her it's innocent stuff
God bless

signing off
bye for now